Every Heard

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06/29/2012

Don’t wanna be stag-nant

Everyday… as a kid I’d wake up- especially on my birthdays -hoping to meet myself.  Sure that someday I would finally be a finished product, a complete person.  But everyday I would surprise myself.  Everyday I am a new person.  When I make new friends, I see a reflection of who I am in their eyes.  Sometimes I aim to highlight the features that seem the most beneficial, allow these to replace the features that are least beneficial.  Sometimes I try to simply stop thinking about it all and follow my whims and principles.  The target is always moving.

Then I started dating, and I woke up hoping to have my other half.  I would finally be a complete pair… But it’s silly to expect anyone to remain the person he was when I fell for him.  Everyone remarks about how wonderful it is during the first few precious days, weeks, months of courtship and introductions- How both men and women tend to TRY… before eventually growing impatient with one another.  We relinquish the ability to see that our partners will continue to grow and change as well- not only who they were when we first met, but also the selves they purported to become.  Sometimes, we are upset because someone is slow to make progress in his stated intentions.  Sometimes, we are angry when someone is slow in ceasing an undesired pattern of behavior.  Sometimes we are confused as to why they changed so much from before.. and we stop expecting them to be new to us.  Rather than adapting our plans to accommodate for reality, we hold fast to our hopes for the dream world we’ve designed.

Backwards.

All of life is backwards.  I do something before I figure out it was a mistake.  Then, in attempting to avoid admitting it was a mistake, I allow the mistake to set the precedence.  I proceed to repeat the error, each time hoping to correct the previous outcome.  Irony.

No one can live asleep forever.  It is a choice to wake up each day, acknowledging truth as we are faced with it.  Recognizing errors as well as wise decisions.  Making very small movements towards achieving goals… that may or may not ever be reached… But are hopefully taking us somewhere near our true paths.  Who can say if the target is ever reached until he has run out of breath to live and grow~

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